Jesus Loves You!

The Silence Of Friendships-

Sometimes, when I feel like I’m down in the deepest pit, what I want isn’t words or hugs.
Not even a listening ear.
Silence- That’s the best anyone could provide.
Just to sit by your side, say nothing & do nothing.
The presence is all that matters.
Demanding, one might say?
But to me, the presence is all that matters.
Knowing that someone is there beside me is comforting enough.

These few days were pretty wet for me. By that I meant that I teared a lot. This post is not to gain sympathy nor to broad-cast to others that I am one very strong girl. I live a translucent life. I just want to share what I’ve been growing through lately and my thoughts. Hopefully, it’ll be able to spur someone on/ encourage them in one way or another.

I have an elder sister who gave birth at the mere age of 18. Nope, she never got married. My whole family went through a lot- from facing all sorts of gossips around the neighborhood to taking responsibilities of babysitting nephew. Looking back, I am glad that we’d pulled through together. Babynephew had brought much joy in this family. This little life actually pulled each and every individual together. My responsibilities increased drastically too. Unfortunately, my sis never grew outta her childish thinking. To cut the story short, I played two roles: My nephew’s Aunt and Mom. I always needed to come back home early to take care of him, often resulting in my neglect of ministry and studies. I never complained. ‘Cuz taking care of him was never a pain in the neck. In fact, it was great joy.

However, more responsibilities were stacked upon my shoulders and many problems just came all at once, I didn’t even had time to dodge or raise the white flag. Just a few days ago, I had these thoughts: ‘’This is definitely not what a 17 year old should be doing. Why is my sister stealing my freedom when I could take that time to hang out with my friends, spend more time with my cg and studies? And yet she could have all the fun outside? Why am I bearing the consequences of the mistake that she’d committed?’’ I felt so stressed, I broke down. There was only babynephew and myself at home at that point of time. And he was soundly asleep in the play-pen. I sobbed so hard and loud that he woke up. Stood up (still in his play-pen), looked at me and cried. Soyeah, you get the picture. This darling of mine is only a year and 4months old, yet he knew that his aunt was upset. He stretched his arms towards me, as if signaling me that he wants to gimme a hug of comfort. I took him out and the both of us continued crying (Dramatic, I know, but true). In the end, he cried himself to sleep in my arms. I looked at him and many thoughts came rushing in my mind just there and then.

My nephew needs me.

As much as I feel inadequate and the fact that I am young, my nephew needs me. My family needs me. The financial state in future is dependent on me. These two factors are more than enough to motivate me to strive hard. For my loved ones, I will stand strong. Sometimes not much of I want, but more of I’ve got to. As for my sister, all I can do is to influence her indirectly and constantly keep her in prayers. I am not ashamed of my sister. She is my sister and I gladly proclaim that. I love her and I long for her to have that love within me from my Heavenly Father.

I don’t know what the message that I want to put across is. Am facing many trials and testings but I know that problems are not continual. They do have an end. I guess God’s really pruning me. No testings are ever easy. But I will rejoice. For the Lord, my God is with me wherever I go. I am honored. He’s looking highly on me. Soyeah, for those who are at the verge of giving up, hang on. Cling on to Him who provides. God place testings in our lives not to condemn us/prove to us that we are weak and He’s the mighty one. We can take advantage of the circumstances we are in. Do not compare or complain bout what you do not have but rather, see what you have and go on from there.

We all have a choice, don’t we?

The stress is piling upon me.
Feeling lethargic and inadequate.
Restless physically but definitely not spiritually.
I thank God for the prayermeets every evening which refreshes my soul, heart and mind.
I am not doing this for Nothing.
When I was doing quiet time two days ago, God dropped this verse in me:

Rom8:18(NIV)
''I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us''

The message version:
''That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens''

Indeed, our sufferings and hurts that we get now is nothing compared to the glory which He would reveal to us in time to come.
I am gonna hang on.

This post is dedicated to my clique in YSS(:

(Mind you, it's quite a lengthy post)

Ta-daa~ These are my beautiful girls(:

Siying; My dumbdumb(:

I teared when I read your post. Indeed, it was a moving one. Do you know that i actually kept the last letter you gave me in my pencil case? Your words are encouraging. Just when I wanted to give up, your letter came. Each time I feel down, I take it out and read and I feel much better. I dont know how to describe this friendship of ours. We've been friends since primary school but only got to know and understand each other only just this two years. I've seen you grow from someone rebellious to a girl who takes pride in everything that she does. I love your attitude when you are determined to do something. That's something I'd really want to learn from. Sure, there are times when Im having doubts of this friendship, I think if it is worth my investment and commitment. But now I can tell you that I am secure in this friendship(: Though I am unable to turn the clock back to enjoy the times we had (Vivo city, Valentine's day etc), I am glad that the photos are there. They are precious memories I'd never forget. I enjoy studying with you too. Thankyou for coaching me in my weaker subjects. Iloveyou(:

Kelly; Dino cum Fat Fat Old Cucumber cum MotherBear

Haha! You've got so many nicknames. You know what? I really like your character. You're always smiling (or laughing). I rarely see a frown on your face, let alone seeing you with a black face for a day. I know behind the smiley face, you face problems which you never really shared. However, you never let it affect you. Thankyou for always not shoving away every single time I laid on you whenever I am tired. Thankyou for always telling me ''Joan, Jiayou!'' whenever I receive my math test (LOL!) I really really really am very touched each time you tell me that. Thankyou for playing the motherly role in this clique. Haha! Iloveyou(:

Yinkay; 可爱的yinkay

You were the first friend I got close to since the Day one I stepped into this school. Do you remember that you were the one who taught me how to serve in Badminton? And we got so happy when we were in School team? Haha. You are definitely the 小姐 in this clique. You never fail to complain whenever you're under the sun. Indeed, you've changed. You're no longer that little introvert girl already. Turned to a wild girl. You're always full of stupid pranks, like making Yaozhen's phone ring during Math class. LOL! Iloveyou(:

Silun; 白刘谢 (Haha!)

Hahahahahaha! I never fail to laugh whenever I see you. I could die of laugher if I were to stick around with you for 24 hours man. Haha! See? I cant even stop laughing now! If our clique's made up of clowns, then you're definitely the clown of clowns! You play an important role in this clique cuz you bring a lot of laughter in this group becuz of your BHB-ness. I know you're serious in becoming an Air Stewardess. Though we often joke and tease you about it, we sincerely wish you the best. HAHAHAHAHAHA! By the way, your laughter is as horrible as mine okay. Haha! Iloveyou(:

Huichan; Chan mali chan, Cat lover!

Hey you! Hahaha! You're always the one who save us whenever there's a cat coming our way. Remember the time when a cat was under Siying's table and she totally freaked out? There was cat during Morning Assembly today as well and I cant believe you actually ''Meow-ed'' the cat over =.= I know we're both Math-Haters, but we do not have a choice this year. Let's do it once and get it over and done with alright? We've got help everywhere(: Jiayou, ChanChan! Iloveyou(:

Yaozhen!

Haha, I doubt you'd ever see this. But still(: I've always thought that you're some demure and gentle girl. But I was wrong! Haha! You don't do naughty stuff like we do, all you'd ever do is laugh laugh laugh and laugh and poke jokes on Silun every once in a while. Jiayou for the big O coming our way yea! Iloveyou(:

Yours Truly,

laughing machine; happy monster(:

5 Year Clique(:

This was what the girls were doing when the 4 of us were rehearsing for the FashionShow

They made a poster for us!! (:

范老师(:

The teacher who never fails to tease me - Mr Nor!

Miss Hew~ (:

Beloved Form Teacher- Mr Raju(:

I love 5n3~ (Though many are missing in this photo)

YinKay & I (:

Lol! Unglam, I know. But it was really hot.

ChanChan(:

Girlsssssss~

FashionShow Participants~

Indeed, Love has no Boundaries(:

Received a bad news today. In that instant, I actually felt nothing at all. Shocked? Stunned?
Why would it be, since I've already expected it coming? Went Home straight and started digesting the truth and tears just started streaming down unknowingly.

My Friend, you mean more than a Friend to me. And you too, know how much I treasure and value each Friendships in my life. If you want me to turn my back against you and just walk you out, then you're really wrong. This friendship is more than the sweet smses, letters, gifts, hugs and words which were spoken and given. I am not gonna back out. Never.

WATER BAPTISM

It's definitely one of the most significant day of my entire life.

I remembered during the previous Water Baptism ceremony, I was so awed by it that I went home and searched for a name and since then, I've been waiting for this day(:

It was entirely a decision made by Faith.

I knew I wanted to do this.

I didnt wanted to wait.

I did not ask for Daddy's opinion until this morning..

Andyes, he agreed(:

Sharlene and Xiangyu prayed for me..

I was trembling with cold and couldnt recall much,

but it has definitely got to do with Strength, Might and Power (In leading my grp).

God's gonna use me as a mouthpiece to influence the people around me.

Was jumping and running around with joy after the ceremony.

I am elated(:

Let the photos do the talking(:

Ariella Joan is Born (Lionnes of God)

Before Ceremony (My precious ones)

Trust me, it was colddddd~

You two know how much you all means to me(:

JellyFiiiish~ Thankyou((:

Pastor Jefffffff !! I was soooo happy to be standing beside this great man of God

(Right) - My clowny sheep(:

Thankyou for witnessing, Dearies(:

The Joy within is indescribable(:

There's so much to share, Im gonna pen it all down in my diary later.. Heee

Thankyou all for the beautiful postcards and gifts..

JoyceTan, thankyou for the Blue rose.. Love it(:

Iloveyou, Shepherd!

Dear Mathematics,

I promise to love you, but please please do help me to love you even more. Sometimes I can't help but just have the urge to tear and burn you into bits and pieces and fiery javelines would start shooting outta my eyeballs. I have not been communicating well with you for the past few years, but I really have no choice this year. Please make my job easier, will you? You're totally unlovable (in my opinion, that is) and often is the reason for my hair loss. But I shall love you this time 'round. Let's have a deal, shall we? You help me till end of this year and I promise to leave you alone for the rest of my life(: Sounds great yea? I think so too. DEAL !

Your Temporal Best Friend Wannabe,
JoanHoeJiayi(:

Was talking to WeiKeat about the growth of YishunSec and my taking of O levels:

Weikeat -- One life , one choice ... live it out for GOD , i lay my life before your feet says:
hmm ... hey , you have to glorify God's name
Weikeat -- One life , one choice ... live it out for GOD , i lay my life before your feet says:
1 way to defend his name is to live your life out
Weikeat -- One life , one choice ... live it out for GOD , i lay my life before your feet says:
the whole yishun sec guys and girls are looking at you as their example

I need to regain confidence when it comes to academics. It's possible within this crucial period.
'Cuz my God is an awesome God. He will provide. This would be another testimony that I would witness & share when it's over.

Had been waiting for this day for so long!
It's here finally!

It's my first time ministering on stage after becoming a support singer.
ThankGod for the opportunity. I had a great time.
It's so awesome to see people really jumping with zeal and wide smiles on their faces and also worshipping God whole-heartedly, raising their hands high up. I'd never be sick of this sight. It was especially heart-warming to see people streaming down the aisle to say ''Yes'' to Jesus and acknowledge Him to be their Lord and Saviour. Man, I almost teared. I looked at them one by one and many many thoughts came into my mind. These are the people who are gonna be part of CGO8. These are the people who are gonna be part of the Great Commission. These are the people who are gonna run together with me in this marathon. These are the people I'm going Heaven with!

Just received a message from Louis which made me ''ahhhhhhh-ed'' for a minute.
He said he actually felt God's presence through my voice!
Yay!! God, you Rock! ((:

Thankyou all too, for those who took the effort to sms, telling me to ''jiayou'' and your prayers as well. Thankyou, too, for my team (Yushan, Xiangyu, Samuel & Winstar) for your help and guidance. Really appreciate it!

Father, I know I am a teeny weeny bit closer to fulfilling my dreams for you. I won't stop. I won't give up. Im not gonna back out. Until and unless it come to pass. I dont know how. But ''how'' is never an issue for you, I know. Use me beyond my limits, for then I'll know that it's not myself but it's entirely and completely you. I am excited to see how you would shape me as time goes by.

This voice is Yours. This life belongs to You.