22Feb'2008.

I guess it would be a day i would never forget. Today was the last day of AdamKhoo's workshop. Today we did more on planning. Planning on our future.

I wanna learn Psychology. It's my interest. It's where i intend to head into. Yeah, someone came up to me and said that that wasnt really a good choice becuz many would lose the interest half way through and not many could really go far. I simply said ''That's my interest and that's where im gonna head.'' To be honest, this is the first time i am so assured of what i want! Normally i would get wavered by the opinions and comments that people gives and eventually, i cant make up my mind. But not this time round. I'm sure i want this. I'm gonna listen to my heart and walk the route that i want to take. At least, if things happen to turn out wrong, i'd have no regrets(:

The closing ceremony was powerful. We were supposed to invite our parents but not many turned up. Even my mom and dad could not make it either. Amin then took some time to talk to the parents 'bout stuffs that teenagers nowadays face and it isnt at all easy-breezy for them. Amin then gave some opportunities to students who wanted to go up to the stage to either say some words or thank their parents or whoever they want to. This Sec4 chinese guy went up first and when Amin asked for the second person, I shot up from my seat and went forward. Seriously, i dont know where i plucked that courage from. Since mommy and daddy wasnt around, i thanked 3 teachers in school. The whole sharing was quite teary. I've forgotten what i had said but i roughly still remember(: I thanked the teachers and my friends for continuously believing in me, pushing me forward and motivating me. I teared luh! Not only that, i made some people tear as well(:

The whole sec4Es and 5Ns sang some songs together and practically everyone was crying. Some hugging their parents. Siying hugged me. Nadia came over to hug and gave me a kiss. Liyan spoke to me. Sabreena came over & told me she missed me. Siva who always teased me came and apologised. Shahidah apologised for the bad things she'd done. Suriana and i finally cleared all the misunderstandings between us. Enemies reconciled. Friendships got ''level-upped'' . Suddenly, everybody's saying ''sorry'' and ''thankyou'' to each other. The whole sec4Es and 5Ns became best friends(:

Wanna thank Amin, Huimin and Gary for being such fantastic speakers as well. Some words were like a tight slap on my face. Some words enlightened me. Some words made me recalled 'bout the cherished moments(:

I've got pretty much to share actually but i've also forgotten almost half of it. Hehh ..
Adman Khoo's workshop was awesome. It was better than yesterday. Aparrently, Amin did not cracked as much jokes as he did yesterday but then, people still listened. I liked the way he talk. Talking with so much confidence and conviction, and i seriously believe that is why people would actually stop what they're doing to listen.

I've learned loads of things during this two days (Tmr's the last day) It's too much for me to list but everything was totally applicable.

Here's the interesting part:
Amin asked all of us to draw a symbol that represents ourselves, and he could most probably know what kinda person we are and what kinda character we have. Straight away, a glass of water came in to my mind and i simply just took out my pen and started drawing. After drawing , i went up and showed it to him. He looked at it for quite a while and asked me

''Are you the water or the glass? ''

''Water.'' Trust me, i had no idea where that came from. Amin said water can be both a very good (distinguishing fire with water) or dangerous thing (floods) .

However, he said that the water that i drew is more on the positive side & that im someone who's very caring(: (ahem!) He asked if i often make sure that my opinions are being heard and i said ''yes''. He asked if i often make crude and harsh remarks on myself. I thought for a while and said ''yes''. Like how i've wanted to learn psychology but the cut off point's so low that i often, alright, always tell myself that it's impossible for me to get grades that are good enough to allow me to learn psychology in SP.

He said quite a lot but this was only what i could remember:
''Look, joan. You have lots and lots of potential. But your water is only limited to that glass. Get out of the glass! Let it flow freely. There's so much more you can do! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!''

Adam Khoo's workshop was pretty okay. In my opinion, I think Amin was the best speaker. He's funny and could relate to the majority of the 5Ns pretty well, though some parts of his teaching/sharing was quite obscene. It got a little bit boring at the end and the whole of the class got quite restless and noisy. Ohwell. I still look forward for the next two days(:

A little something for lessie aka Nadia :
Hey Darling Dear ,
You've always been a strong girl (stronger than me, at least)
Hang in there, You've been through even more in the past, this is just another hurdle you gotta hop over.
I know, for sure, that it's not gonna be easy but I, too, know that it's not gonna be that tough either(:
Like I said, vent your anger (in a wise way) and get it over with.
'Fret not, I've got your back!
You were with me back then and no way am i gonna turn my back against you. You've got me(:
Cry all you want. Scream all you want. Kick all you want. And promise me you'll move on after that.
No matter what the circumstances , no one, and i mean NO ONE has the right to take that pretty smile off your face.
Just grit your teeth a 'lil while longer and in a blink of an eye, everythin' would be over(:
Iloveyou, and you know that(:

HAPPY B'DAY GRANDPA~

Obviously, he's not gonna see this la. But i just wanna wish him here(: Had dinner with my grandparents, sis, uncle and nephew this evening. Ilove family dinners(:
I gave grandpa a fourty dollars angbao(: Though he kept shoving back to me, i can see from his eyes that he's very happy. His little girl is giving him an angbao ehh (:

Grandpa used to buy Macdonald's breakfast every sunday for my sis and i when we were very young. Every sunday! Even though it might be raining heavily. I remember how sis and i would cry non-stop if we were not able to stay over night at their place every week. Now, grandparents are just staying blocks away from us and we see each other everyday(:

IlovemyGrandpa(:
My cute Grandpa(:

I still remember how i'd tuck a pillow under my neck, lie on Daddy's lap & watch the telly.
I still remember how Daddy would tie stupid and weird hairstyles for my sis and I.
I still remember how Daddy would toss me upside down.
I still remember how Daddy would tickle my feet till i scream and roll on the bed.
I still remember how Daddy so loved to play dead to scare my sis and I.
I still remember how Daddy and I used to have heart-to-heart talks regarding the family and our own experiences in our lives. Though i was barely even ten years old, he listened.

I still remember how Daddy would easily make my day by buying sweets and coke for me.
I still remember how Daddy teared and hugged me from the back when grandpa was very sick.
I still remember how Daddy would help me out and cover up my mistakes just to prevent scoldings/naggings from mummy.
I still remember how Daddy would fetch me home from my primary school only to find out i was nowhere to be found as i was busy playing catching with my classmates, sweating all over.
I still remember how I'd request Daddy to piggy-back from the living room to the kitchen.

I still remember how I got Daddy so furious that he made sis and I kneel and face the wall but we ended up laughing at it in the end.
I still remember how Daddy and I had coldwars for days and he ended up smsing me, apologising to me and telling me that it hurts him that im no longer laughing that much as im the clown in the family.
I still remember how I'd slam the door and say hurtful things to Daddy just because we had an disagreement.

I still remember..
I still remember..
Oh yes, i still do remember..

I've just realized how things have changed so much over the years.
Nope, i no longer lie on Daddy's lap to watch the telly. There's something called ''Sofas''.
Nope, Daddy no longer piggy-back me though i sometimes still requested for it.
And no, Daddy never plays dead anymore.

However, there are still some things that had remained unchanged.
Daddy still tickle my feet (Only when i disturb him when he's reading newspaper by stucking my feet to his face)
Daddy and I still have heart-to-heart talks every once in a long while.
Daddy still buys sweets/chocolates/coke for me.
Daddy still stood up for me.
Daddy still continued covering my mistakes but letting me realize that im still wrong.
One thing that had and will never change is that..

Daddy still loves me ..

I could never ever EVER do it without him.

Iloveyou, Daddy
But I love God more.
Cuz he gave me YOU and this family i could never thank enough.

Happy V-day everyone!

Today's a great but tiring day. Received my very first Valentine's day pressie by my sheep, Liyan and Melissa. They got me a Nike WaterBottle(: I had always wanted a decent water bottle but couldnt find any. Yay! Thanks girls! Went to Fish and Co. for dinner with Siying after school. We later rushed back to Yishun for Anatta's Bbq and stayed there for a couple of hours before heading back home to take care of BabyNephew.

Talking 'bout Valentine's , wanna know whats the true definition of TrueLove and where to find it? It's actually much simpler than what you think, im sure! We're having this special service , ''Hello, love''. To get answers from the question marks in ur head, text me or ring me up to find out more(:

''For i am your provider and I meet all your needs..''
''For you are my treasured possesion...''
''I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul...''
''If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me..''
''I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine..''
''I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles..''
''When you are broken hearted, I am close to you..''
''As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart''
''One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes and I'll take away the pain you have suffered on this earth..''

Met Joyce for shepherding yesterday after achievers. That shepherding was simple. It was short. It was heart warming. She plugged the earpiece in my ears, shoved a piece of paper in front of me and played the audio from her phone. It was ''God's love letter''. Though it was spoken by a man who isnt God, but God spoke to me through him. Those sentences above are only part of God's love letter to His child. Those words sank deep into my heart and i cant help but tear. I didnt even realise that there were tears running down my face. I can't explain. I seriously can't. But that simple shepherding refreshed and renewed my walk with God.

No, it hadn't been easy. Let alone smooth sailing. Tests after tests. Trials after trials. Obstacles after obstacles. Problems after problems. Just when i finally heave a sigh of relief, BAM! It all goes back to square one. It was never easy. Never. Thats why i really think that God really is looking very highly on me. He said before in his word that He would never give me anything too heavy that i cant bear. Thus, definitely, I can overcome the tests, trials, obstacles and problems that He throw to me. He knew that it would be suffocating for me. He knew that it wouldnt be easy for me. However, He too, know that im gonna pull through.

I'm gonna flap my wings and soar up high, nobody would ever expect it.
And when i turn and look back at the end of the day, im gonna smile and be overwhelmed by the goodness of God.
When I turn and look back at the end of the day, im gonna stand in awe by the miracles that God had done in my life.

''Come home, and i'll throw the biggest party Heaven has ever seen...
....I will be waiting for you....
Love, your Dad.
The almighty God''

Happy Cheenah Newyear everyone(:

Unlike the past few years, i didnt really eat alot this year though mom baked lots of pineapple tarts and cookies. Even the fantastic awesome-licious Bagua! Just drank a lot of packet drinks. However i really enjoyed the time spent together with my family(: Mom had 4 off days and putting her naggings aside, it's definitely nice to see her home all day long. We had family dinner at our house cuz we had been eating steamboat for the past few yearsss and for once, they just wanted something simple. It's so nice to chat and eat over the dining table(: With mom, dad, sis, grandpa, grandma and BabyNephew who watched us eat. When we were just about to eat, i prayed a short prayer. I thanked God for giving me such a wonderful family though sometimes we rub against each other's shoulders every now and then. I too, prayed for each and every individual's Salvation including BabyNephew ,that one day, they'll come to know the great big God that im serving and once day, ONE DAY, when we're having reunion dinner again, it's gonna be a different one. We're gonna say grace all together over the dining table(: I have Faith that this is gonna come to pass(: I know and i believe so(:

I'd also wanna thank God for the spiritual family that He had given me(: One that is not purely Fun-based but one that is serious in God's business. Had Ultramen Reunion with the other 7 Ultramen(: It's really very Heartwarming to see all those faces again.

I could never thank God enough.. (:

Joan is very sick. Really bad sore throat and flu. Do pray for her okay? Haha..

Last night, I was walking like a crab in a very fast speed (Don't ask me why) and bcuz my room slippers are a wee bit bigger than my feet, i slipped and fell. So yea, my butt landed hard on the floor and i found it soo hilarious that i couldnt stop laughing. In fact, i laughed so hard till i teared and woke nephew up. ( I was the only one in the living room with nephew sleeping in the playpen) Dad came out of his room and i told him 'bout it and he laughed too(:

And then it got me into thinking. Don't we all fall many times in our lives? However, we're always dwelling into it, crying about it and regretting making those mistakes. How many times did we ever turn back and laugh 'bout our mistakes? Things would be so much easier if you just see it in another light(:

I'm very glad that whenever i'm facing some storms in life, there are always people who are continuosly pushing me to the positive direction. One of the many is, of course, my dearest beloved Shepherd, Joycetan.

She never said ''No'' or tell me she's very busy and ask me to call back later whenever i ask for her listening ear. Right from the beginning, she had already told me that her phone is always on for TwentyFour hours straight. That, of course, meant that i could call her ANYTIME. Even if it's in the middle of the night. I never did. But i know very well that if i'd ever need to, she would be there (Perhaps with eyes half-opened). I guess i should try it tonight(: Hahaha.

She really means a lot to me. Yea, we had our piece. We fought (definitely not physically, i'd fall flat on the ground, for sure). We had our disagreements every now and then, though not that often, but deep down, i know that we truly care, respect and most importantly, loved each other very much. It had all came to a point where her feelings are above mine. Besides my family members, i've never loved such a friend like that before. Aren't you honoured, Joyce? Haha

No matter how many storms are shooting towards me like spears and swords or even javelines, I promise that i'll stand strong. Cuz i had already made my promise to God that i'm ready to sacrifice my personal rights and im ready to be used by Him.

That Daddy above will keep watch over me, I know that(:

It's not even ChineseNewYear yet and im already having a bad sore throat, thanks to Mom's pineapple tarts and butter cookies): Hehe.

Had a great conversation on the way back home from work with Valerie. On Tuesday after work, Valerie and I were in the train, on the way back home. When the train stopped at Yishun, I said Goodbye to Val and alighted at the stop. Just when the door was about to close, i stepped in the train again and went to Val. I told her i wanted to accompany her until it reached her stop, Admiralty. She was very shocked and i dont know why, but i teared. I really miss her): And after alighting in Admiralty, she accompanied me to wait for the train back to Yishun.

Today was interesting though(: Dawn and Jogina left early due to some stuffs and Val and i were at Ya kun in toa payoh, having a looong conversation. Just like Tuesday, I accompanied her to Admiralty. The only difference was that this time i did not step out and come in again. And as usual, she accompanied me to wait for the train back to Yishun and when the train came, guess what? She stepped in and told me she would accompany me BACK to Yishun! Wanted to accompany her to wait for the train back to Admiralty but the train came just soon after.

I know it sounds very confusing and complicating. But i really find that it's very sweet of her to take that extra mile. To me, i just wanted to spend a 'lil more time, talking, sharing and interacting more with her. Even if it's just ten minutes or so. To me, it means a whole lot(: