I just came back home and as usual, Grandma was baby-sitting my One year old Nephew.
He was on her her lap, drinkin' milk from the milk bottle while Grandma gently brushes her fingers through his hair and stroked his face.
I sat beside her, and I saw her wrinkled hands which weren't as wrinkled when i last saw it.
I teared immediately and found excuses to excuse myself.
And as I walked pass the playpen in the living room, I noticed the new bedsheet for BabyNephew.
I asked Grandma who bought it and she told me that she had sewn it herself.
Man, my heart melted!
I really love my Grandma alot.
When will she ever receive her salvation? I'll wait for God to move in this family.

Faith. Thats what I need.
Prayers. Thats what i can do.
Anything other than that, I'll leave it unto God's hands.

I went through the red box that i have in my room, filled with letters, gifts and cards..
I looked through the photo albums and the photos in my computer..
Suddenly, a wave of emotions overwhelmed me. I don't know why and what's the cause of it. People close to me know that words and photos matters a lot to me. Words of affirmation and encouragement which are spoken/written, it warms my heart. It's surprising how some 'lil things that you had done unto others actually meant the whole world to them.
Photos. It's never 'bout the venue, time or even how well each individual look or pose. It's always 'bout the people. I especially love candid shots. Natural and genuine.
It never fail to fill me with nostalgia whenever i look through them. But this time, it somehow felt different.

我们人呢，
因为受伤过，才会坚强。。
因为失去过，才会珍惜。。
因为抱怨过，才会感恩。。

我很害怕失去。但我很明白有许多事情是我无法控制的。 自己也很清楚即使想挽回也未必能够挽回。我答应自己一定会充分地利用时间，对身旁的事物也会加以珍惜与保护。我会向逆境挑战。我从不知怎么向命运低头。即使是涵着泪，我也会攀上最高峰。若决定了，就会往前冲。谁也阻挡不了我。

我不知道也不能预知未来所为我铺的路。
我只知道现在。
我活在现在。

Chinese paper was manageable for me(: A big thankyou to those who took the time to pray, send smses to me and encourage me. Though i did not reply (due to the extreme usage) , i really do appreciate it. I had saved those messages in my inbox and did not delete it until the paper's over. Haha! Call me superstitious, I'm alright(:

Today was a peaceful day. After sitting for our Chinese paper, I went lunch-ing with the girls and headed back home. Had a sudden urge to play badminton and went to book the court at the last minute. Headed back home after two hours later and spent the entire day with my family (: Home was pretty noisy. It's Daddy and Mommy's offday, Grandpa and Grandma came to our place too, which wasnt surprising as they pop down everyday. Haha! Oh, and I was being chased by my naughty One-year old nephew. He tried to pull my shorts down =.= I gotta run round the house and boy, can he multitask! He screamed and yelled and laugh and ran all at the same time. Haha! Okay, guess my mind's not working right now. Shall stop.

'' Father, I don't know what more to say. The sight of children having tubes attached on their body and parents screaming out for their children's name simply hurts me..I pray that you'd give the survivors out there comfort, peace and hope. There's a limit to what i can do, to only donate my clothes. But God, you're limit-less and have no boundaries. Let them see that ray of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Watch over them and be with them. I can't thank you enough. In Jesus' name, Amen. ''

Can you people sense the urgency? The great commission must be done soon and very soon! What's more to wait? Aren't the signs obvious enough? I am desperate! I am dead serious 'bout this. There's no much time to slack and shake my leg!

SCHOOL:
A fight broke out at the basketball court right after school.. Was really shocked. It was my first witness to a fight, after all. It finally made me understood and realize the masquerades people had been putting on all along.. Never judge a book by it's cover. Still, I hope everythin's gonna be okay.




''Why be so satisfied with our 'lil sandboxes when all along God had wanted to bring us to the beach?''

I read this sentence from a book, (I forgot which) last year.. I am still awed by this sentence. We shouldn't be feeling comfortable from where we are at right now. If one is feeling too comfortable, something is wrong. Taking that step of Faith to get out of one's own comfort zone is never an easy job. It takes courage ( To simply get out of that comfort zone) It takes Faith (Not doubting and trusting that God would take control of all things) However, one thing for sure, you'll grow. And when one looks back and see all that was and has been done, one would feel so amazed and overwhelmed by the power of God.

Prayers- The most fundamental but essential thing in a Christian life. It would be so dead without it. Praying has no boundaries or restrictions. I am once again reminded of this(:

It's decided.

We are gonna move to the East area by end of this year. Probably after my O's.
I've had always hated changes. Even minor changes, let alone major ones. I was about to leave home to study with Siying when Uncle Gerald told me this news. My heart sank. Not tryna exaggerate but come onnnnn, I've been living here for yearssss (since i was 3years old) I grow up here. My friends are here. I know the cheapest things to buy here. I know where to eat good food. My favourite hang-outs with my clique are all here. Man, the list goes on. I could just list out 101 reasons for not moving. And to tell the truth, on the way to meet Siying, walking pass the surroundings which i am so familiar with, deep within me, i was complaining and telling God how unhappy i am with all these changes. It is so impromptu. In fact, my parents did not even asked me for any suggestions/opinions ): I dont wanna moveeee ):):):):

I enjoy watching my Sis scream and shout with anger and frustration. I find it really amusing. Like how she had showered half-way and asked me to go get the shower foam from the kitchen for her and i simply just ignored her. She screamed and threatened me and all i do is laugh. And when she slams the bathroom door, the fun ends. Hahaha. Okay, I'm absurd.


When i was sick the other day, I stayed in bed and i thought a lot about Leadership.
One can have the skills. But eventually, everything boils down to the most fundamental thing: Personal relationship with Jesus.

How can we lead when our lives are not right ourselves?
Who are we to advise, correct or rebuke when we are not a good example ourselves?
How are we gonna convince others to obey the Word when we dont ourselves?

To me, the Key to effective leadership is to walk right with God.
One might feel inadequate or incapable. But skills can be learned and acquired.
(As long as we are willing and desire to learn, that is)
There are so many times that i got blurred by what's in front of me and neglects the whole picture.
Isn't it true? Correct me if I am wrong. But i seriously think that when one's relationship with Jesus is right, nothing can be wrong.

I am pretty packed up with many stuff lately, but am still having joy deep within(:
New problems to tackle , but am still having joy deep within(:
Taller and bigger hurdles to hop over , but am still having joy deep within(:

I understand that life is never a bed of roses. Therefore, instead of throwing tantrums and asking God ''Why , oh why? '' and pushing all blames to others, I am learning to make the best out of every situation. Cliche, I know. But at least, I'd try (:

Michelle's back home again. Yes, I am glad. And all these years i've been living like i've got no sibling at all. It's not that she had left home for years. Just in and out. Out and in. It hurts me every once in a while when i over hear conversation between my friends on how they had fun with their siblings, what games they played or how rough they were. I'd just keep quiet , with teary eyes. Sad to say, I don't really grow up with my sister. She lead her life, and i lead mine. I've never seeked advices from her or confided in her. Neither did she. We never had any deep/private conversation. Neither were we the expressive and touchy kind. I guess the last time we hugged was when i was 8 or 9 years old. Sometimes when she's not around, memories of the past with her when we were younger would just come flashing back. Times when we yelled at each other, times when she pulled my hair and i kicked her belly, times when we went to the library every weekend with mommy and also times when we would pen down every bad things that we had done to each other and threaten to complain to daddy or mommy. People mentioned that we look alike, but for those who know us, also know that we are as different as chalk and cheese. Haha, enough of the emo-ing.. No matter what happens, now that i've grown up and mature enough to think, I shall try my best to be the best sister for her.

I do have the right to make a difference in my family after all, don't I ? (:

As much as i dislike it , no matter how hard i try to reeeally prevent it , changes still do take place. No doubt 'bout that.

After my History Paper, the usual bunch of us went to have our lunch. Some later went back to school for their POA paper. We were sitting there , crapping while waiting for a friend to come. We waited really long and so i decided to go take a stroll.

I went all the way back to Block724. It's under renovation. All the memories i had just seem to replay like a tape in my head. The events that took place. The stupid games that we played. I held back my tears. Tears of joy? With a tinge of sadness, maybe? It's indescribable. I remember how i used to creep out of the house just to go 724 to play badminton and block catching with that bunch of clowns. I remember how hard i laughed that i teared. I remember how I had spent my Birthday at 724 playing till really late, some even questioned me why would i want to spend my Birthday at a void deck? That place was like my home. We fought there. We argued there. We had our celebrations there. We hung around there. We rot there. And now that the playground's gone, man.. I dont know why , but i feel really sad. Yinkay , do you remember how we used to climb up and down like Monkeys and i actually fell from the highest pit? Do you remember how we used to play ''Crocodile'' ?

Yes. That playground's gone.
All that's left is the Badminton Court. But it looked different.

People whom i used to hang around with then, arent the ones whom I spend time with the most.
We always talk bout those times , though. And to me, Im more than satisfied already(: It made my first two years in High school really memorable.

To those people, you know who you are.
I really thankyou(:

Speechless.

Yeah, after all that I've been through, looking back, I'm speechless. It's not as if I've been through terrible stuffs or whatsoever. But I'd definitely faced quite a lot in last week alone. I had fallen. And just when I am about to pick myself up and pat my shoulders for being ''strong'', BAM! There goes another fiery spear. Then it would repeat from the top all over again.

No worries, I'm charged up and refreshed. And am still, standing strong. There are so many things that I've experienced by God that no one had ever experienced. So why let negative stuff sway me away from the goodness of the Almighty?

No testings = No growth

I've always asked for Spiritual breakthroughs and testings and indeed, God answered. Hahaha!

''Father, I understand that the purpose of each testing is to grow, mould and prune me. So help me to cling on to you and rely on you through any and every circumstances. You are there. I know. Let your will be done, not mine. Have your way in me, not mine. Help me. Guide me. Pull me through. Thankyou, Lord. I place my trust unto you. Amen. ''