jus came back from badminton tournament at ST' JOSEPH ..
against deyi secondary school ..
WE WON !!! YAY !!!
we won 4 matches out of 5 !!
played singles today ..
I WON !!! DOUBLE-YAY !!!
hehe..
haven played singles for a very long time .
but zhangyan n other teammates gave mie lotsa encouragement .
wouldnt win w/o their support and affirmation .
omg .
im elated !
all of us are in a high mode now .
can see that the teachers were very proud of us .
finally ..
after 3 yrs ..
sigh ..
lols .. sound so old..

i feel so blessed .. ^^

the relationship between me n my shepherd is really well now ..
the letter writing n all ..
haha ..
luv ya , shepherd !

am really blur nowadays in school ..
practically makin' a fool outta myself ..
once , after maths period ,
i thought its recess ..
was so enthu that i quickly took my wallet n hp n rushed to e door ..
when i opened the door ,
jorie called me ..
" JOAN ! STILL GOT ENGLISH PERIOD LA ! "
was damn malu can ..
haha . was so kiasu .
took my things n faster go outta e class , onli to find out tht theres another period..
there are stil lotsa embarrassing stuff but i forgot .. hehe

i feel so lurrrrrrrved .... <3

yay .
grandpa's transferred to normal ward now .
prayers are just so so powerful .
oh i wanna thank my bros n sis ferr prayin ferr me .
thank God ferr u Ppl ! =)

alrite .
been feelin rather down lately .
ferr wadever reason .
so yea .
am sry if i hv affected anibody around me .

jus came bck frm service .
as usual , i enjoyed it .
oh ppl ,
havin a concert on e next 3 services .
do sms me or call me if ya' wanna cum !
its gonna b fantastic , im sure !

shared some problems with zhangyan .
n she said
" if u eva need a listenin ear , a punching bag or even a hug , jus cum to me"
how sweet .
i was sooo very touched tt i actually teared luh .
thank u thank u thank u .

u noe , sometimes im so down that i tend to forget e love n care tt ppl hav ferr me .
guess im gonna do somethin bout tt part .

ppl say one would nvr noe e value of somethin
until u lose it .

ive experienced tt .
in some way , im glad tt ive lost it .
if not , i'd nvr know how much tt particular thing means to me .

but now ,
im gonna cherish each n everythin tt is given to me .
cherish it every bit .
^^

went to e hosp. agen on sunday after going to e library .
grandpa was awake when i reached dere .
i called him .
he turned to mie .
looked at mie with his grey eyes .
i jus felt lik crying .
lik ive said , my sis n i are much more closer to another grandpa of ours .
but i dunno why .
i blamed myself for not visiting him for sooo long .
it made me realized that in a blink of eye , everythin could b gone .
yes .
monday night , dad came home from e hosp .
he came to my room ,
hugged me from the back and said tt grandpa could b gone anytime .
he cried .
and i cried too .

i slowly sat on my bed .
i started praying while tears rolled down my cheeks .
i prayed and prayed .

ive been praying every day and every night
that God , could heal him .
bcuz i noe as long as i pray , God will hear me .
and he will provide .
God will do miracles in our lives .

thank u sisters n brothers for being there .
for being a huge support for me .



okie . i know its been like weeks ago when we celebrated the New year . But was feelin kinda down lately and i started to think about the things that ive gone thru last year . i heard many ppl saying "woah . time flies in 2006" . No .. it wasnt fast for me .. it was a long and dreadful year . ive experienced and went thru so much , no one could possibly understand .

its so sad when u know someone so dearly and were so close togetha once and now , everythin's different . it is really very sad . sometimes i look at that person whom hv hurt me the most . and i wonder "why ? why didnt things work out ?" . i know its stupid . i know its selfish . but i realli want to turn the clock back . i want to go back to the happy moments we once shared . sharing diaries , going to lunch everyday after sch , doin revision togetha , went to each other's hse so often . i once had all those . but why did one day make all e difference ? that very day when i cried lik hell . ive lost my very best friend . someone whom i confide in totally . someone whom i trusted the most . someone whom know me better than i know myself . someone who can end my sentence before i end it . jus imagine hw close we were . and now , we are jus lik strangers .
i know perfectly well that things couldnt go back they way it was . i know . but i guess i still cant get over it .

backstabbings , gossips , etc .. ive experienced it all last yr .. one shot ..

i guess i can say i was strong . yes i fell . yes i said i wanted to give up . i stomped my feet and yelled like a 3-yr-old . but i still made it . i still managed to hop over this huge hurdle in front of me . but i didnt do this alone . anatta.. linda..nadia..my dearest cousins.. they were the ones who grabbed mie , pulled me up when i fell . u noe , when u feel lik u're not gonna make it , when u feel lik everythin's gone , even when one person shows up to u , it will make all e difference .
i remembered i was realli realli down one day after school . went home , and i received this sms . from anatta . "hey joan . how are u feelin ?" . i tell u , i cried even louder when i saw this . there are jus so many ppl whom im thankful n greatful for . i luv u ppl so very very much . <3

I hv God . He is with me to walk with me .

ROAR !!!! JOAN'S BACK!!!

haha . yea . re-read my precvious post . woah . thats a little different . haha . okie . nvm . everythin is settled alreadi . for e time being . haha . yea . man .. its been raining so heavily todae . and guess wad ? God answered my prayer today . woke up around 6.20 . raining heavily . and i cant find my umbrella . so i prayed realli hard to God , praying that e rain would go soon . i prayed n prayed . and when i step out of my house , e rain stopped . drizzled a little la . but i was not drenched . and when i reached school , it rained lik cats and dogs . see ? God is a poweful God . No doubt bout that . =)

went to training on monday and y'dae . wheneva i see 'em , im just so happy . once i reached e hall , i started teasing jeng n samsam . haha . jeng plus jeng equals ? nvm . u ppl wont geddit . onli those clowns in badminton . LOL . im just so high during trainings . ooohhh . NORTH-ZONE match is cumin ! we gals are playin on next thurs ! way to go ! we're playin against nan chiao , st joseph , sengkang and one more . nervous ! e guys are playing against chungcheng[yishun] and 3 other schools . we're so excited !

oh boy .. i miss linda , anatta n zhangxue.. yea i noe i jus saw 'em hours ago in school . but i jus simply miss 'em .. these ppl stand a huge enormous place in my heart .. =)) saw nadia today . nice hair , gal ! haha

God gave mie soo much . im just so blessed .

im reali frustrated n stressed up now . i've got loads of things to do n i've got so little time .

Monday - badminton training
Tuesday- prayer meeting
Wednesday- CG
Thursday- badminton training
Friday- extra lessons for higher mother tongue n maybe CIP

and i cant believe im in sec four now . takin N levels this yr . i dun think i can cope man . i've got so many things to worry about . firstly , my relationship with my sheperd is not improving . secondly , i cant understand wat miss Ng is teaching about during physics class . thirdly , i've got no time to decorate the classroom ! im no octopus . i've got no more than two hands . so yea . basically , im screwed .

i always thought im well-organised , keeping things in order . Like , 2.00pm , do this . 2.45 , do that . And frankly speaking , im sick of it . i've been doing this for years . I've been doing well though . coping n managing these stuff . last yr , have got so much emcee-ing n dancing to do . but everythin still turn out well . but now , im realli like , suffocating . i cant breathe . everythin is so tight now . sometimes i jus feel so vulnerable .

mom is complaining . she blamed mie for going out too often for Church stuffs . [service , CG , prayer meeting , evax.. ] Its something that i want and like to do . i cant blame her though . and the-always-lenient daddy is starting to complain too . ive been going home quite late for e past few days . =(

i know God is with mie . but sometimes i jus dont feel the presence of Him . sigh .. am i jus to stressed or something ? i barely smile or laugh out loud in school . everythin like wad i said , are so tight . and when i say tight , believe mie , its super tight . North-zone match is cuming soon . have to train almost everyday . i dun wan to disappoint zhangyan . she has high hopes for us . and shes graduating this yr . we wan to win !

in e bus on e way to northpoint jus now , i sat at one corner . i realli felt so sad , unhappy n dissatisfied . i hv been constantly tellin myself to do this , not to do that , muz study this , muz go there . i looked out e window and i jus felt like crying . but i eventually felt better after being alone for some time . i guess that was wad God had done .

GET UP , JOAN !!

im enjoying myself so much for e past few days . going back to sch is cool . quite alot of new classmates . ohh . knew this new gal not long ago . caifen . at 4n3 . a very hyper n happy go lucky gal . i like her personality man . haha . yea . school's great ! togetha with liyan , tingting , maureen , vivien , weikeat , weiloong , yongen , cyril n james , we can make a difference in school . rite ? haha . im so lookin forward to tues after sch can . yay . its gonna b fun . haha .

im not bonding with my classmates . haha . i dunno why too . but i guess its gonna remain this way for this whole yr till e next . i miss my sec two class alot . realli . although most of us are not talkin to each other alreadi , but i really misses each n everyone of 'em . e silly pranks n all . we were all so close togetha . e decoration thingy . our class was so beautiful . e guys playin soccer in class , ended up breakin e window and e gals had to half squat to sweep aways the glasses outside e classroom cuz aunty gwen's office was right opposite . it was so funny la . and makin fun of teachers . there was straw-eater rizzuan who always ask questions . there was this blur monitor dinesh . the jokers , helmie , khari , affif n all . man .. i miss 'em so much . i hate it when ppl bond but after a few yrs , they gradually go into different ways . how sad .


=) y'days service was good . we had 3 converts .