Trustfall was quite fun, actually.
Bathed like mad when i reached home.
All sweaty and sticky.
When i did my first fall, i was so scared and when i was falling, i actually slapped this guy on his mouth and he bled. Felt so guilty. Fortunately his teeth did not drop out or something.
The second fall was much better.
It's indeed, TRUSTfall .
Having some problems recently.
Despite countless of heart-to-heart talks and corrections, everythin' just doesn't seem to work out.
I felt so deflated.
I felt so frustrated.
''Since the soft way's not gonna work , im gonna use the hard way.''
That's what i wanted to do.
But Sharlene and Joyce talked to me y'day and made me realized something :
THE HARD WAY NEVER WORKS
In fact , if you use the hard way, people tend to turn away from you and things might go even bad .
It took Sharlene years to make her sheep grow and realize that she loves her.
Im gonna grit my teeth .
How long do you want, How long do you want to take,
tell me, and i'll wait.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Busy Busy Busy
But who cares, cuz im
Happy Happy Happy
Alright , it's dumb. Heh. But seriously, i'm caught up with many many many stuff and i always turn in late at night around 2plus and then get up early in the morning the next day.
Am really excited for camp man ~
Sure is gonna bring my relationship with God another level deeper
Oooh and i'm preparing the Drama together with Joyce and Jogina
It's hilarious man
Watch out, people !
Prepare to laugh your heads off
I don't think i can sleep tonight.
Am leading Worship tomorrow , for the first time .
Will be leading it again on Wednesday and during Caregroup.
It all started on Friday when Joyce was shepherding me, teaching me 'bout worship leading.
And by the end of the teaching , she asked me for application
Joan: ''Hmm..I've learnt that by leading worship, it's more than singing songs to God blah blah blah blah ...... ''
Joyce: (with a wide grin on her face) ''To make you apply this teaching more effectively, you'd be leading worship during our ultra-men's meet, Prayer meet and Caregroup'' (Wide grin)
Joan: Jaw dropped
Joyce: *Wide grin
This is somethin' that i've always wanted to do.
But yet again, am stil very nervous 'bout it.
The ultramen had given me lotsa support though :)
AHH , im nervous
Pray for me, people :)
But who cares, cuz im
Happy Happy Happy
Alright , it's dumb. Heh. But seriously, i'm caught up with many many many stuff and i always turn in late at night around 2plus and then get up early in the morning the next day.
Am really excited for camp man ~
Sure is gonna bring my relationship with God another level deeper
Oooh and i'm preparing the Drama together with Joyce and Jogina
It's hilarious man
Watch out, people !
Prepare to laugh your heads off
I don't think i can sleep tonight.
Am leading Worship tomorrow , for the first time .
Will be leading it again on Wednesday and during Caregroup.
It all started on Friday when Joyce was shepherding me, teaching me 'bout worship leading.
And by the end of the teaching , she asked me for application
Joan: ''Hmm..I've learnt that by leading worship, it's more than singing songs to God blah blah blah blah ...... ''
Joyce: (with a wide grin on her face) ''To make you apply this teaching more effectively, you'd be leading worship during our ultra-men's meet, Prayer meet and Caregroup'' (Wide grin)
Joan: Jaw dropped
Joyce: *Wide grin
This is somethin' that i've always wanted to do.
But yet again, am stil very nervous 'bout it.
The ultramen had given me lotsa support though :)
AHH , im nervous
Pray for me, people :)
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I remembered Joyce asking us what ''Ownership'' means to us during one of our meetings and it got me into thinking again .
I guess ownership basically means taking full responsibility over it . To me, that also means taking the initiative to take the lead.
Firstly, you got to have a plan to lead. Don't just plan just for the sake of planning. When you've done planning, follow it, do it. Procastination is the thief of time. Don't waste time delaying something that must be done by today. I used to be a tomorrow-er . ''Tomorrow.. Tomorrow i have lesser things to do.. i'll do it tomorrow..'' , i used to tell myself that. But just like many would say, tomorrow never comes . Cuz when tomorrow comes, it would be today.
Secondly, don't count your chickens before they hatch. That's what i think luh. No point telling people what the future would be like, how your visions will come to pass when you're just there, sitting on your couch, shaking your leg, waiting it to happen. Worse still, you plan but choose not to do it. Nothing's gonna drop from the sky. Everything need to be earned. When you're determined to do something, put your back into it and i can assure you that even when the result isn't that pleasing, you'd think that it's all worthwhile. At least, you've given your all. I definitely do not wish to look back and regret not doing what i should do. It's not gonna be a barrel of laughs, that's for sure. Just grit your teeth for a 'lil while :)
Working together as a team is also important. It's very matter-of-fact but i used to take that for granted. Since i was a little girl, i've always prefered to paddle my own canoe. I liked to do things alone because i liked things to be done in MY way. I've dropped many clangers but i'd rather like things to be done my way. I had no tolerance for people who drag things and i was very impatient. There were too many chiefs and not enough indians. Meaning , there were too many people suggesting and saying what should be done and not enough people to do the work and i was really irritated. It was a little of ''Me, myself and i''. I was quite self-centred, i can tell you. I was a little bit of a perfectionist and it gave the people around me lots of pressure. But along the way, i've learned a lot. Working as a team builds your character as well. Patience, especially. For me, that is. I've learned to listen. Listening more to others' ideas and opinions. Many brains are far more better than one brain. Whatsmore, it's really good to share the joy with your team members when you've achieved what you want or that you've reached your goal. That sense of satisfactory is indescribable :)
I guess ownership basically means taking full responsibility over it . To me, that also means taking the initiative to take the lead.
Firstly, you got to have a plan to lead.
Secondly, don't count your chickens before they hatch. That's what i think luh. No point telling people what the future would be like, how your visions will come to pass when you're just there, sitting on your couch, shaking your leg, waiting it to happen. Worse still, you plan but choose not to do it. Nothing's gonna drop from the sky. Everything need to be earned. When you're determined to do something, put your back into it and i can assure you that even when the result isn't that pleasing, you'd think that it's all worthwhile. At least, you've given your all. I definitely do not wish to look back and regret not doing what i should do. It's not gonna be a barrel of laughs, that's for sure. Just grit your teeth for a 'lil while :)
Working together as a team is also important. It's very matter-of-fact but i used to take that for granted. Since i was a little girl, i've always prefered to paddle my own canoe. I liked to do things alone because i liked things to be done in MY way. I've dropped many clangers but i'd rather like things to be done my way. I had no tolerance for people who drag things and i was very impatient. There were too many chiefs and not enough indians. Meaning , there were too many people suggesting and saying what should be done and not enough people to do the work and i was really irritated. It was a little of ''Me, myself and i''. I was quite self-centred, i can tell you. I was a little bit of a perfectionist and it gave the people around me lots of pressure. But along the way, i've learned a lot. Working as a team builds your character as well. Patience, especially. For me, that is. I've learned to listen. Listening more to others' ideas and opinions. Many brains are far more better than one brain. Whatsmore, it's really good to share the joy with your team members when you've achieved what you want or that you've reached your goal. That sense of satisfactory is indescribable :)
Friday, November 09, 2007
I miss Joyce Tan!!
she's gonna be back tmr!
Miss her loud voice and her famous golden sentences
But definitely not her burping
''Girls , Amen?''
Haha
Weeks ago , i found this Valentines' day card that dad had wrote to mom donkeys years ago .
'' Honey , if you had 32 kisses and 48 hugs and you gave me 27 hugs and 35 hugs, what would you have left? You would have left 5 kisses , 13 hugs and your passionate Albert, the loverand husband in your heart:) ''
I laughed really loud when i saw it and i embarrassed dad by exaggerating it and reading out loud in front of mom . I ended up wrestling with dad .
Many people ask me why am i so expressive towards people. To be honest, i really don't know. My parents are not expressive. My sister is not expressive. None of my family members are expressive. My sis and I never say I LOVE YOUs or I MISS YOUs to our parents. Perhaps this is the reason why im so expressive towards the people around me, i guess. Because i believe that if you care for someone, act it out. If you love someone, say it out and tell that person how much he/she means to you. People like to feel important and loved. Sounds cliche, but you might not be on this earth tomorrow. Worse still, the person whom you love might not be around. I don't ever want to regret not telling the person how much they means to me. I dont't at all find that telling someone you love them is mushy.
Was lying on the bed, doing some thinking again. I came to realize that no matter how bad things turn out , no matter how many people turn their backs against you, there's always something to thank God for. To begin with, one can always thank God for His unconditional Love. His goodness and faithfulness.
I miss Michelle. It's sad when your sister doesn't share the same beliefs as you. It's sadder when you're not at all close with your sister. It's the saddest when she's not around. Though im expressive towards my friends all all , i've never told my sister that i love her and how much she means to me even when she's around. You have a sister but you feel that you're the only child. It had all became a habit already, i guess. I shall keep her in prayers every night.
she's gonna be back tmr!
Miss her loud voice and her famous golden sentences
But definitely not her burping
''Girls , Amen?''
Haha
Weeks ago , i found this Valentines' day card that dad had wrote to mom donkeys years ago .
'' Honey , if you had 32 kisses and 48 hugs and you gave me 27 hugs and 35 hugs, what would you have left? You would have left 5 kisses , 13 hugs and your passionate Albert, the loverand husband in your heart:) ''
I laughed really loud when i saw it and i embarrassed dad by exaggerating it and reading out loud in front of mom . I ended up wrestling with dad .
Many people ask me why am i so expressive towards people. To be honest, i really don't know. My parents are not expressive. My sister is not expressive. None of my family members are expressive. My sis and I never say I LOVE YOUs or I MISS YOUs to our parents. Perhaps this is the reason why im so expressive towards the people around me, i guess. Because i believe that if you care for someone, act it out. If you love someone, say it out and tell that person how much he/she means to you. People like to feel important and loved. Sounds cliche, but you might not be on this earth tomorrow. Worse still, the person whom you love might not be around. I don't ever want to regret not telling the person how much they means to me. I dont't at all find that telling someone you love them is mushy.
Was lying on the bed, doing some thinking again. I came to realize that no matter how bad things turn out , no matter how many people turn their backs against you, there's always something to thank God for. To begin with, one can always thank God for His unconditional Love. His goodness and faithfulness.
I miss Michelle. It's sad when your sister doesn't share the same beliefs as you. It's sadder when you're not at all close with your sister. It's the saddest when she's not around. Though im expressive towards my friends all all , i've never told my sister that i love her and how much she means to me even when she's around. You have a sister but you feel that you're the only child. It had all became a habit already, i guess. I shall keep her in prayers every night.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
''Do they see Jesus in me
Do they recognize Your face
Do i communicate Your love
And ur Grace
Do i reflect who You are
And the way I choose to be
Do they see Jesus ,
Jesus in me
Well i wanna show the world
That You are the reason i live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me ''
I like this song . I love the lyrics even more . It's true . When people see me , they see me as Joan . But i also want them to see Jesus THROUGH me . IN me . Isn't it great? When people see Jesus in you through your own life testimony ? Through your words and actions ? People are like that . Once you do somethin' that somehow harm or hurt them negatively , they're gonna condemn and dislike you for a very long time , sometimes even for the rest of their lives . But when you do somethin' nice for 'em , be it somethin' small or big , they'd most probably appreciate it but they're not gonna remember it for a long time , let alone for the rest of their lives .
Met up Joyce for shepherding Yesterday at Toapayoh before going to work . I really love the way she teach me . The enthusiasm and excitement she have for God . I wasn't doing really well for one period and i told her everythin' bout it and i don't at all mind sharing it in here .
Somehow , everythin' became like a habit . I saw and did things like a ROUTINE . Like i do it not because i want to do it for God . It's more of i do it because i had to do it . It's somethin' that is listed in my ''TO-DO'' list . Somehow , i just forgot all the values and reasons behind what i was doing . I just did what i had to and i really thought my job was fulfilled . I went for every single Caregroup , I never skipped shepherding nor service and i seriously thought that i was doing Okay . It was only when i was in my room alone , lying on the bed , staring at the ceiling , doing alot of thinking . I realized that i was very tired . Physically , Emotionally and Spiritually . I also felt that i was not a good leader . Even after all the hardwork , effort and outreaching , my group still didn't grow . I felt that i was not a good leader , a good shepherd , a good sheep and even a good friend . I called Joginaup that night and i just cried and told her how i felt . She said it was normal and that she had went through all these before .
''Who said things are supposed to be done in just one way ?
Who said we have to play the same old games in caregroup?
Who said shepherding can be done in only just one style ?
You can never be a perfect leader .
But you had given out your all and had done your best
You can never be a perfect shepherd
You can never be a perfect sheep
You can never be a perfect friend
and the reason's simple .
You're not Perfect .
And you're not gonna be no matter how hard you try
Because you're not Jesus ''
These words were like a tight slap on my face . And i suddenly remembered what Ziying had once said . ''You can never be perfect . But you can strive for perfection'' .
I think it's really dangerous when u see and do things like a routine .
You may be a leader , knowing what is right and what is not , what you should do and what you musn't, all the values and ''principles'' but it might all be just in the mind , but not in the heart .
We really gotta ask God to refresh us every once in a while and if there happen to be any point of time when u're starting to doubt 'bout God , what He can do or if he's real , think again .
Think 'bout his goodness .
Think 'bout your answered prayers .
Think 'bout all your blessings .
Think 'bout how your life was transformed by Him
Nobody wake up every morning feeling God beside them .
But He IS there .
God knows and understands your every problem and difficulties even before you tell him
God is not a God who's lying on the couch , eating potatoe chips
God is not a God who's busy sprinkling Gold dust .
God is a God who understands , loves and cares .
I'm glad i had the answers to my own questions and i'm doing even much more better than i ever had .
My walk with Him is strong .
It better be .
Haha ..
Do they recognize Your face
Do i communicate Your love
And ur Grace
Do i reflect who You are
And the way I choose to be
Do they see Jesus ,
Jesus in me
Well i wanna show the world
That You are the reason i live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me ''
I like this song . I love the lyrics even more . It's true . When people see me , they see me as Joan . But i also want them to see Jesus THROUGH me . IN me . Isn't it great? When people see Jesus in you through your own life testimony ? Through your words and actions ? People are like that . Once you do somethin' that somehow harm or hurt them negatively , they're gonna condemn and dislike you for a very long time , sometimes even for the rest of their lives . But when you do somethin' nice for 'em , be it somethin' small or big , they'd most probably appreciate it but they're not gonna remember it for a long time , let alone for the rest of their lives .
Met up Joyce for shepherding Yesterday at Toapayoh before going to work . I really love the way she teach me . The enthusiasm and excitement she have for God . I wasn't doing really well for one period and i told her everythin' bout it and i don't at all mind sharing it in here .
Somehow , everythin' became like a habit . I saw and did things like a ROUTINE . Like i do it not because i want to do it for God . It's more of i do it because i had to do it . It's somethin' that is listed in my ''TO-DO'' list . Somehow , i just forgot all the values and reasons behind what i was doing . I just did what i had to and i really thought my job was fulfilled . I went for every single Caregroup , I never skipped shepherding nor service and i seriously thought that i was doing Okay . It was only when i was in my room alone , lying on the bed , staring at the ceiling , doing alot of thinking . I realized that i was very tired . Physically , Emotionally and Spiritually . I also felt that i was not a good leader . Even after all the hardwork , effort and outreaching , my group still didn't grow . I felt that i was not a good leader , a good shepherd , a good sheep and even a good friend . I called Jogina
''Who said things are supposed to be done in just one way ?
Who said we have to play the same old games in caregroup?
Who said shepherding can be done in only just one style ?
You can never be a perfect leader .
But you had given out your all and had done your best
You can never be a perfect shepherd
You can never be a perfect sheep
You can never be a perfect friend
and the reason's simple .
You're not Perfect .
And you're not gonna be no matter how hard you try
Because you're not Jesus ''
These words were like a tight slap on my face . And i suddenly remembered what Ziying had once said . ''You can never be perfect . But you can strive for perfection'' .
I think it's really dangerous when u see and do things like a routine .
You may be a leader , knowing what is right and what is not , what you should do and what you musn't, all the values and ''principles'' but it might all be just in the mind , but not in the heart .
We really gotta ask God to refresh us every once in a while and if there happen to be any point of time when u're starting to doubt 'bout God , what He can do or if he's real , think again .
Think 'bout his goodness .
Think 'bout your answered prayers .
Think 'bout all your blessings .
Think 'bout how your life was transformed by Him
Nobody wake up every morning feeling God beside them .
But He IS there .
God knows and understands your every problem and difficulties even before you tell him
God is not a God who's lying on the couch , eating potatoe chips
God is not a God who's busy sprinkling Gold dust .
God is a God who understands , loves and cares .
I'm glad i had the answers to my own questions and i'm doing even much more better than i ever had .
My walk with Him is strong .
It better be .
Haha ..
