I guess my greatest regret in life so far is not being able to maintain tht friendship with my very best friend . I feel ... i dunno . i cant describe it .

I am always trying to closer that gap between me and her . And all these time , i was constantly lying to myself , thinkin that we do not need to spend everyday together to keep this frienship going and growing . I thought we were close , just like the past . Like there are no walls or any kind of barriers that keep us away from each other . But i was wrong . Ive only got one best friend . I value her just like how i do to my family members . I guess i no longer stand the place which ive once stood before in her life . I think things have changed . Yes , although i dun wan them to . Things always dun go the way i expect 'em to , and sometimes things look pretty well from the surface , but deep down , it's another thing . She wasn't there when i needed her .
we used to be so freakin' close . why do everything always slips away from my very own hands ?
Ive cherished it all so much .

Sometimes , I really just feel like runnin' away from this reality world . Because it hurts you so much to know the truth , and it hurts you even more when the truth is lying right in front of your eye and you just have to jolly well accept it even if you dun even feel lik it .

I only have one true friend . And she's slowly drifting furthur away from me ....