im reali frustrated n stressed up now . i've got loads of things to do n i've got so little time .

Monday - badminton training
Tuesday- prayer meeting
Wednesday- CG
Thursday- badminton training
Friday- extra lessons for higher mother tongue n maybe CIP

and i cant believe im in sec four now . takin N levels this yr . i dun think i can cope man . i've got so many things to worry about . firstly , my relationship with my sheperd is not improving . secondly , i cant understand wat miss Ng is teaching about during physics class . thirdly , i've got no time to decorate the classroom ! im no octopus . i've got no more than two hands . so yea . basically , im screwed .

i always thought im well-organised , keeping things in order . Like , 2.00pm , do this . 2.45 , do that . And frankly speaking , im sick of it . i've been doing this for years . I've been doing well though . coping n managing these stuff . last yr , have got so much emcee-ing n dancing to do . but everythin still turn out well . but now , im realli like , suffocating . i cant breathe . everythin is so tight now . sometimes i jus feel so vulnerable .

mom is complaining . she blamed mie for going out too often for Church stuffs . [service , CG , prayer meeting , evax.. ] Its something that i want and like to do . i cant blame her though . and the-always-lenient daddy is starting to complain too . ive been going home quite late for e past few days . =(

i know God is with mie . but sometimes i jus dont feel the presence of Him . sigh .. am i jus to stressed or something ? i barely smile or laugh out loud in school . everythin like wad i said , are so tight . and when i say tight , believe mie , its super tight . North-zone match is cuming soon . have to train almost everyday . i dun wan to disappoint zhangyan . she has high hopes for us . and shes graduating this yr . we wan to win !

in e bus on e way to northpoint jus now , i sat at one corner . i realli felt so sad , unhappy n dissatisfied . i hv been constantly tellin myself to do this , not to do that , muz study this , muz go there . i looked out e window and i jus felt like crying . but i eventually felt better after being alone for some time . i guess that was wad God had done .

GET UP , JOAN !!